Romney adds Gekko to presidential ticket
Mitt made an important announcement and we wanted you to be the first to know!
In a speech to supporters, Mitt announced that it was time to wrap up this whole primary thing and get on with the business of running for office, for Pete’s sake. Today, Mitt announced that his friend in the private equity industry, Gordon Gekko, as his running mate on the Republican ticket.
Uncharacteristically, Mitt has held steady — at about 25 percent support among Republican primary voters — in polls all year. GOP voters look at a dozen Republican candidates for President a day but they have to pick one. It’s not always the most popular person who gets the job done — and Mitt’s not popular. However, we’re not here to indulge in fantasy but in economic and political reality: Mitt Romney will be the Republican presidential nominee.
So listen, Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry, we know you are running for President and we think that’s adorable but this is the Republican Party and we go with the guy who is “next in line.” Primaries are for wimps.
See Mitt’s full remarks below.
Remarks as prepared for delivery
December 7, 2011
Good morning.
In a matter of weeks, Republican primary voters in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina will select our party’s nominee. Our party has some 50 primaries and caucuses, each costing thousands of dollars to conduct. I have spent five years studying how this works and I still can’t figure it out.
What I do know is that the Republican Party lost by 8.5 million votes last presidential cycle and I bet part of that was from Republicans shifting attacks back and forth on each other in the “primary.”
Now, the only law of evolution that the Republican Party believes in would be that last cycle’s runner-up gets the nod this time around. In my book, you say what you have to say, avoid the uncalled for questions, and stay back or you get eliminated. To delay any longer would forestall the launch of a national campaign. Now you’re not naive enough to think we live in a democracy, are you? It’s the free market — you’re part of it!
And with that in mind, it is time to move forward and select a running mate to challenge Barack Obama in November.
Elections are a lot like business, you know. It’s a zero-sum game: somebody wins, somebody loses.
My vice president must understand that if you are not on the inside, you’re outside. My vice president must be someone who, like me, sees a company not merely as a collection of American jobs, retirement savings, and college funds, but as leverage in the free market of life.
And so, it is my pleasure to announce that I have selected Gordon Gekko as my choice for Vice President. With Gordon at my side, mark my words, we will not only save the Republican Party, but also that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.
Thank you.
